Being a "big girl"

Lacey has slept so well in her big girl bed since it's initiation on Thursday!! Sunday night for the first time, she wanted back in the crib but half an hour later she was crying to get out and get into her big bed. The only "problem" we had with the transition was that the first day that she was allowed to wake on her own (Saturday morning), she just got up by herself and opened her door and came out. Luckily, I had my "magic mommy ears" on and heard the sound of the door opening over the monitor. So I laid in bed to see what she would do. She looked in the hall bathroom and went to the living room (didn't look in my bedroom). After a minute I hear a soft...mama? mama? So I went out to her. She did the same thing with nap #1 which I also napped for. That time, when I came out to meet her I told her that she wasn't supposed to get out of bed by herself. So with the second nap, when I heard her stirring, I watched the monitor for when she sat up and then I went in to initiate her getting out of bed. After that, she didn't get up on her own anymore. The next morning, I was up before her so I made sure to get in there first again. And for the subsequent Sunday naps, she just fussed over the monitor until I came and got her. I am really surprised how well this is going. I called Matt today to see how the morning went. He said that she sat up in bed and he went in to get her. But it seems she wanted to sleep in the crib for her nap today. We both realized that she points to it and says "baby". I'm not sure where she picked up this idea. It doesn't seem as though she's expecting a baby in there. It's more like she knows that's a baby bed and wants in it. So we are letting her sleep wherever she wants to for now. There's no rush for the toddler bed and I feel like it will go better if we let her do it on her own terms.

Over the weekend, Lacey and I were alone and having such a great time together. There were moments where I would watch her playing or communicating with me and think "My god, she is so big now". I am constantly amazed at how much she knows and understands. Her imagination is starting to bloom, she plays mommy to her little bear, she babbles sentences to me that I can't understand, she mimics everything we say and do. She's just like this little tiny person now instead of a baby. Sometimes it's hard to explain. And while in many ways I miss her babyhood, I am so proud and excited for her growing up. But despite her emerging independence and confidence, I still see her as tragically fragile. Especially since the arm break. I find that I hold my breath when she falls waiting for a sign of that pain that, thankfully, never comes.

I am now 6 weeks from my due date. The worst part of being pregnant is the not knowing when or where you will go into labor. It's stressful and next to impossible to have a plan. Especially when you have to plan to do something with your toddler. As each week passes, and "any day now" looms nearer, I get more and more nervous about how this will all shake out. I play out the different scenarios again and again in my head trying to memorize a plan for each. But the list of "what-ifs" is very long and I know that I can't do much planning beyond the very basics. And so, we can only wait and see.