The Daycare Game

Dummy me recently realized that now that Lacey has turned the magic number ONE, our daycare options expand. First, now we can choose from several daycare facilities and second, we can consider family care providers (FCP). Not that I couldn't before, I just didn't. But there are VERY few options for children under 1 year old in my area. And so up till now, I have been paying way more than I would like to on daycare costs. So I am again embarking on the hunt for the "right" child care option and it's giving me heartburn.

First of all, I am troubled with the general idea of moving her out of her comfort zone. She knows, loves, and trusts her teachers and they do her as well. So naturally, I am apprehensive about a new environment where the care has to start from ground zero again. Also, I am used to her "school" environment where they infuse each day with learning opportunities, arts and crafts, and music and dance. I wish for the same thing with a FCP but realize it probably won't be so. I could just move her to another school, but the cost savings aren't as great as with moving to a FCP.

The other potential pitfall of changing her location is the fact that the new baby will most likely have to go to a different place, at least for a little while until something opens up where Lacey is. We would have to start our day even earlier to account for TWO pitstops on my way to work. Though it's possible I could get lucky and get them both in at the same place, I have to plan for all scenarios.

I swear...there is more guilt in being a mommy than for any other reason. She is so familiar with her routine and her surroundings now. I fear that I will somehow scar her or make her afraid by changing things so drastically and abandoning her in the arms of a total stranger. And I worry about my own capability to pick someone who will truly care about her and love her like their own. People are scary and you can't ever really know. It just doesn't feel as "safe" to use an FCP as with a school. But there are plenty of horror stories (yes, even now) about the school environments too. It's a very scary step.